By Isis Nezbeth
Isis is a first-time mother, author, and free-spirited freelancer.
All too often, as women, we wait for a man to show interest in us instead of grabbing hold the reigns of relationships and shooting the shot ourselves. If you haven’t run across the trending hashtag #ShootYourShot2017, we’re going to talk all about it. The concept behind the hashtag is empowering people to feel more confident approaching people that they like via social media. Naturally, for most, the initial steps of shooting your shot will go down in the DM’s (direct messages). With that being said, there are not many women who feel empowered enough to go after the men that they are interested in. Men are stupid. They need our direction. If you know what you want, you don’t need to wait on him to ask you directions in order to lead him where you want him to be. When you shoot your shot, the ball is in your court. That is the best part.
Now, I know what you may be thinking… “are you crazy?!” “I’m not about to slide into any man’s inbox.” “What kind of woman would he think I was if I did that?” You know what kind of woman you would be to shoot your shot? The woman who is claiming her destiny. The woman who is in charge of her life. The woman who is confident. The woman who doesn’t let fear hold her back.
There are still men out there who are completely flattered by a woman who is confident enough to approach him and openly show interest in him. It’s sexy and refreshing. Besides, it’s 2017 ladies and in the times we are in, there is no time to waste. You could miss out on your soulmate because you weren’t empowered enough to approach him. We have no idea how much more time we’ve got left. Make every day and every decision count. No ‘what if’s?’ allowed. So here’s to shooting our shot from here on out, ladies. Let’s get into it!
Be empowered to shoot your shot because men may act like they’re in charge, but women have the real power.
Ladies, you have to understand that we were beautifully and wonderfully made. I mean seriously, we grow humans and push them out through the tightest hole on our body. We are truly incredible. Feel this way in all that you do—especially when you meet someone you see potential in. Remember, if you don’t shoot your shot, some other woman will. Sure, way back when it was the norm for a man to approach and court the woman first, but times have changed. He’s probably too busy looking at ‘IG Honeys’ on his Instagram to realize you’ve given him the green light to approach you. So, do it yourself. When you make the first move you’re instantly showing the man that you have the power and you’re not afraid to use it. Most men love a woman like this. It’s natural to be a little nervous or feel a bit silly, so don’t let your nerves get to you. He is just as nervous as you are. After the first few minutes of conversing those jitters will begin to vanish anyway. It’s five minutes of something uncomfortable that could lead to a lifetime of true happiness. Don’t underestimate that.
Be empowered to shoot your shot because men really do appreciate a woman who is confident enough to go after what she wants.
I get it. We know that being overly confident can be intimidating to men, to be honest, it can also be really annoying and a complete turnoff. Still, exuding confidence is a daily necessity in any situation. If you don’t already know that, then you’re probably not ready to be in the dating game just yet. A man loves a woman who works for what she has. Not only will he find it attractive… he will respect you for it too. That kind of woman is promising. She’s showing anyone who crosses her path that she’s not afraid to do what she has to do to get what she wants—and even more importantly, she’s not afraid to initiate or take the lead. She is strong and she sure as hell doesn’t play any games. Shoot your shot with confidence, girl. Again, remember that it puts the ball in your court and lets him know up front that you’re not a woman to be played with. You’re choosing him. If he’s interested, he will be genuine and take you seriously from then on simply based on your initial approach.
Be empowered to shoot your shot because men want to feel desired just like us woman do.
I love catching a man off guard by telling him how attractive I find him—but that’s my personality. I’ll be honest, the more attractive a man finds you the less likely he is to believe that you really are into him. If he doesn’t think he’s in your league, he’s likely to take the situation lightly. He’s thinking that there’s no way a woman like you would be after a guy like him. Assure him that you’re being honest in your approach. It’s as simple as breaking the ice. Buy him a drink, compliment him, open up some good conversation—all of these things break the ice and take some of the nervousness away from both of you. Men want to feel desired too—and not just sexually either. Keep in mind also that if you’re willing to court him, he knows that you will definitely appreciate any courting that he can do for you. He’ll be much more likely to do the really nice things for you knowing that they won’t go unappreciated.
Be empowered to shoot your shot because you’re mature enough to do it.
It’s 2017 and games are tired—and if you’re still into that kind of thing then you’re tired too. I know that we’ve had some bad experiences with men, but they’re not all the same. That’s literally impossible. Trust your gut. At the end of the day the worst things that can happen are he says “no” and you move on to the next basket or he says “yes” and it doesn’t work out. Still, you’ll never know unless you shoot your shot. Be mature enough to only shoot your shot at someone you’re genuinely interested in. I didn’t know that I’d need to say this but based on some of the feedback I received, it’s important to point out the fact that us women play games a lot more than the guys these days. Yes, some guys are out here wilding, but we allow it and then we reciprocate it to the men who are undeserving. It’s not okay. There aren’t very many women out there that lack the art of the game. We are better at it than men and because of it, we can tend to take advantage of that. I’m guilty of it, for sure. Let’s leave the games behind and go after that real thing, ladies.
Take your time. Focus. And let her rip. Here’s to shooting that shot, ladies.