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RELATIONSHIPS

This sub-category highlights all the different kinds of relationships one can have in a lifetime. It describes the way in which two or more people are connected. Sometimes the articles can also be about the relationship we create with our belongings. Many of the featured articles vary from different perspectives on how to approach your potential partner or give smart advice on how to react in future situations.

Loved

Loved

I have spent a large portion of my life protecting myself, guarding myself and being careful, to make sure that I don’t get hurt and no one can harm me. My thought process was if I just keep everyone away then I will be ok.

What took me a while to realize was that I was not ok. I was succeeding at not allowing most people to hurt me but I was actually hurting myself more than anyone could ever hurt me…

I was starving myself of the joy, pleasure and happiness of experiencing real connection.

I had forgotten what it was like to cry with tears of heart-felt compassion and love. I forgot what it was like to really care and it be ok, and feel good about caring. I had gotten to a point where I became numb.

It took my first coach/mentor, to call me out on what I was not conscious of – the fact that my barriers were putting a ceiling on my sales and my relationship with other people, for me to realize that I was hurting myself.

It took a great deal of self-reflection, courage and brutal self-honesty to be able to admit and acknowledge that I had been responsible for the hole I had inside of me.

Once I started making a conscious effort to let people in, it became the scariest thing to open my heart to another person. The fact that they would see me for me, the fact that they could judge me, the fact that they might not like me or love me or accept me was the scariest thing in the world. But what I soon found was that even though sometimes, and often I would feel rejected, there were many times that I did feel liked, accepted and loved for actually being ME. And these times, I actually felt the happiest and that I truly did matter in the world, well at least in someone’s life. This was enough me for me to know my life is worth something.

It then became easier and easier being myself (and to even just be alive). To be myself with not just someone I was interested in, but also strangers, colleagues, authoritarian figures, and to clients – current and possible ones. Then came launching my business! This was a whole new level of letting the world see me for me. This was me extended! This was my thoughts, feelings, heart and soul laid out for the world to see, smell, taste, feel and judge. This was me, naked and bare.

Constantly am I facing my fears of being seen, being myself and being good enough. But as I have been facing my challenges consistently for many years now, it has become easier and easier although the demons get bigger and bigger.

And when things get tough I simply ask myself, would I rather have it the other way around? Would I rather not care, not feel, not be doing what I am doing? And the answer is always no.

Whenever my demons get that little bit too hard to face, the universe will show me something to remind me I am on the right track and to keep facing them. It will send me a person, a message, a client, a feeling, just to remind me to keep my chin up and it will all be worth it. Because it always is!

I now have more love, presence, gratitude, and the most amazing people in my life that I know for a fact, that if I had made one small decision differently and not faced one little demon in the past, I wouldn’t be where I am now and I wouldn’t have the relationship I have with the people I have in my life, and I wouldn’t be the happy fulfilled person I am today.

And for that I know, I owe it to myself. My courage and action to constantly face my fears, challenge myself, and consciously allow people to see me for me especially when it scares me! To make a conscious effort for loving just because I want to love, for caring just because I care, for crying just because it hurts or touches me, for laughing because it’s funny, for being how I am just because I am, has now started to become unconscious. I have now started building habits of being myself. And that’s the only reason it has gotten easier to be myself.

So now I ask you, are you being yourself? Are you allowing yourself, your loved ones, strangers the opportunity to love you? If you are hiding who you are, how will you ever know the pleasure of the people you love really loving you, for you? How will you ever feel the joy of unconditional love and acceptance? How will you ever not feel alone? How will you ever feel real connection if you are so disconnected from your own heart and feelings?

I know it’s hard, I know it’s scary, and sometimes it does hurt. But whether you are growing or dying, it will hurt anyway. You might as well make it worthwhile. You might as well have love and lost, then to have not loved at all. Because true love understands that although some relationships don’t last forever, love is love. And true love is being grateful just to have experienced love – in whatever form it shows up in.

So next time you have the opportunity to put your heart on the line, tell someone how you feel, apply for that new dream job or role you want, go talk to that stranger or tell someone you care and love them… Remember you may not have tomorrow… And if today as your last day, would you want them to know how you feel?

Let’s not wait until we get hit with a major life crisis before we make a conscious effort to connect to each other. Connect now.

Be present.

Love openly.

Be you.

The world wants to see and love you! But it can’t if you don’t let it!

To know more about embracing your hidden truth go to www.TheNewView.com and message me for a Discovery Session.

March 15, 2019 0 comment
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Woman

Woman

She’s addicting, isn’t she?

She’s passionate, bold, and sexy AF. There’s almost a thrill in just chasing her alone, but you’d probably be lying if you said that was all you wanted from her. There’s nothing wrong with meeting a woman who blows you away–and you shouldn’t be afraid to take the risk of trying to genuinely get to know her. Before we get started, I still feel the need to offer a disclaimer that this is not an article to promise you’ll win the woman, but I am doing my best to help you get in there. I won’t lie to you, it won’t be easy–but this kind of woman is usually 100% worth it. This is how to attract the free-spirited woman you’re crushing on. Let’s get into it!

 

  • Be original with your “A-Game.” One thing I’ve come to learn over time is that several men believe their “A-game” is on point. I gotta be honest with you though, most of you are not quite there. Times are changing and so are women’s standards. I’m not saying that I agree with how far certain women are asking men to go to “prove themselves,” but still, women can be quite demanding–even in the ‘getting to know you’ stages. So, when you come with your A-game try to revamp what you usually do. The free-spirited woman has been over the usual thing men do to get her attention. I can’t tell you exactly what that is, but I can tell you that your approach should be very, very different.
  • Speak meaningfully and with purpose. When you do finally get her attention, please for the love of God, don’t put your foot in your mouth. Don’t use pet names. Don’t ask her ‘wyd’. Speak meaningfully and with purpose. The free-spirited woman is strong and her attention span is short. She is always looking for the next thing that will literally ignite her soul. This could be you. I’m not telling you to begin quoting Shakespeare, but dig deep for something really good to say to her. Remember, attention-getting is always the first thing you start with in any successful presentation.
  • Accept her fully. I can’t stand to find out that someone pursued a free-spirited woman only to hold things of her past against her. If I can be honest, I can’t stand when anyone has their past held against them. I mean, who are you? Jesus? –Didn’t think so. If you’re going to go after the free-spirited woman, it’s important to remember that she is exactly that. Free. That means there is a very high chance that she’s taken some risks in life and has also made some bad decisions. Then again, who hasn’t? Still, because she is so free-spirited she didn’t allow it to hold her back or scare her into being someone else. I promise you it’ll pay off way more to remember this than to remember something she did before she even knew you existed.
  • Don’t be infatuated with her–actually get to know her. If you’re going to attract the free-spirited woman, do your absolute best to genuinely get to know her. Do not think of her as the woman you’ve seen in passing or the woman you see online. You’ve got to start fresh. Learn the real her. Chances are that those women (online and IRL) are indeed the same, but the free-spirited woman can feel when you’re just attracted to the idea of her and not who she actually is. It literally shows in just about everything you do.
  • Indulge in her dreams. One of the number one ways to attract the free-spirited woman is to indulge yourself in her dreams and fantasies. This kind of woman always has a racing mind. She’s always thinking up ideas or daydreaming on her passions. As I mentioned before, she is constantly in search of the things that truly set her soul on fire. If you can, learn about them. Talk with her about them. Fuel her so that you, too, can be something that sets her soul on fire.
  • Motivate her and if possible inspire her. Although many believe the two words are interchangeable, I believe they are different. You can motivate her to follow her dreams and pursue the things she’s passionate about by encouraging her and supporting her. This is extremely important and in my opinion, it’s crucial to attracting the free-spirited woman. You should also find ways to inspire her though. When you’re listening to her talk about her passions and learning more about her dreams, you should be able to find things to inspire her if you aren’t one of those things yourself. It’s as simple as seeing a painting and sending her a text saying, “I bet you could create something as powerful as this if not better.” It’s sexy, it’s a challenge, and she’ll be elated that you believe in her vision.
  • Take her on an unforgettable date. No, it’s not the end-all-be-all if you’ve already missed the mark with this one, but remember she’s free-spirited. She’s creative and original. Try to take her on a date that doesn’t let the other dates she’s been on even stand a chance in her memory of “bests.” It might seem a bit intimidating at first, but I promise you, if you are crushing on her the way I think you are and your intentions are actually good… you’ll think up the perfect date.
  • Be present, but give her space. Again, when you’ve got the conversation going or you two have been on a few dates, stay relevant. Stay present. Talk to her often–but remember to give her space. The free-spirited woman, contrary to popular belief, can be tied down–she just needs room to fly when she needs to. Don’t be too overprotective or you’ll be sure to lose her. Don’t disregard the fact that she needs you around as well though. She will want to fly, but she’ll come back to the nest that makes her feel at home–loved and protected.
  • Don’t run at the first sign of her dominance. The free-spirited woman isn’t about bullshit–but you know this already. Don’t run at her first sign of dominance. There is likely going to be something that occurs between the two of you that causes her to get a little attitude or to “define” a situation. Don’t revolt. Try to understand where she is coming from. I’m sure there is some reason behind why she felt the need to raise her stinger a bit. Some understanding and communication are sure to settle her right on back down. I promise.

 

Don’t give up on her.

March 4, 2019 0 comment
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How often do you really put forth the effort to make him smile? Men deserve to feel needed and wanted just like we desire to be, ladies. I don’t know about you, but I love getting a random text of endearment from my man. It lets me know that he’s thinking about me no matter how near or far apart we are or what’s going on in his day. It also reminds me that he isn’t too “cool” to express his feelings and reassure me how lucky he feels to have me by his side. We should want to make our man feel this way too. Don’t go all out on Valentine’s Day or his birthday, but fail to show him the same endearment or love on the days in-between. You wouldn’t appreciate it if those were the only times he did it for you, would you? If you’re looking for a few examples on how to show your man you’re still feeling him just as much as the first day you all started seeing each other, it really isn’t that difficult. A text is a simple, easy way to get the ball rolling. Here are 20 mid-day texts to make him smile! Let’s get into it!

  • Listening to <insert song> and it reminds me of you.
  • You make me so happy.
  • Just wanted to remind you of how much I love you.
  • I can’t wait to get my hands on you later.
  • Meet me for lunch? I hate going the whole day without seeing you.
  • Remember when <insert memory here>. That always brings a smile to my face.
  • You’re so sexy, babe.
  • I picked up wine and a movie for later. You choose the food. Love you.
  • How did I get so lucky?
  • I miss you.
  • I’m so proud to call you mine, babe. Just a reminder.
  • <Insert sexy picture>.
  • Overheard someone talking about how unhappy they were in their relationship. I couldn’t relate. Thank you for being you.
  • Babe! Guess what?! *wait on reply* I love you. Lol corny, but I promise he’ll think it’s at least a little bit cute.
  • I’ve been thinking about you all day.
  • When you get off make sure you’re free for the rest of the night. I’ve got plans for you! <Insert mood-appropriate emoji>
  • You really do bring out the best in me. Thanks, babe.
  • I just finished <insert current project he knows about>. Couldn’t have done it without your support!
  • You are such a hardworking man. I appreciate you baby.
  • If you’re having a bad day… don’t worry about it. I have every intention of making sure your night is amazing.

Again, these are just a few examples of mid-day texts to make him smile, but ultimately, it’s just letting him know how much you care for him. If you have a good man in your life, it’s important to make sure he knows that. He needs to be reminded of how special he is to you, girl! Don’t be shy. Make that man’s day!

February 22, 2019 0 comment
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Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner so it’s time to start planning! For some people, Valentine’s Day can be a real drag and for others, it’s their favorite time of year. My goal is to allow everyone to see the joy in Valentine’s Day whether you’re celebrating the love of your significant other or the love of yourself! Here are a few nontraditional valentine’s day ideas for couples and singles! Let’s get into it!

Nontraditional Valentine’s Day Ideas for Couples:

Create a date. Instead of spending extra money on a traditional Valentine’s Day idea, create it yourself. You could create your own wine or craft beer tasting for your partner or you could create your own ‘dinner and a movie’ ambience. Get creative and save money, too!

DIY the gifts. It makes receiving a gift 10x more special when the person you love took the time to make it for you. That’s just facts!

Create a film. Not that kind… unless you two are into that! You could make a short film together by simply recording throughout the day and I promise it’ll pull on your heart-strings when you watch it later in life. A perfect memory.

Create your own spa. Again, instead of spending unnecessary money, you could create your own spa by making facials, baths, and/or giving each other massages! Get some aromatic oils, hot stones, bath robes… the whole nine!

Cook a fancy meal together. Find a recipe that the two of you would love to try to make it together. You’d be surprised at how much fun you’ll have cooking it together.

Get toasted. Seriously. Create a drink together. Name it, make it, and drink it together. Then, let the fun times roll.

Host a couple’s date at your place. Gather a few other couples and host the evening at your place with a game night, food and drinks, dance vibes, and/or even a paint and sip!

Create a vision board together. I’m mean seriously. How sweet is this?! Sit down and create a vision board of your future together. You’ll be surprised at what they want in their future with you.

Do a photoshoot. Not a snapchat shoot, but a legit put together photoshoot. Both of you will feel so special and you’ll have pictures to document it and last a lifetime.

Write a love letter or poem for each other. Read each other your feelings. Idk what it is about hearing written word, but the way they tug at the heart and make you melt is indescribable.

Read a good book together. Snuggle up and read a couple of chapters of good urban fiction out loud to each other. It’s sensual and it will definitely set the mood for the rest of the evening.

Create a playlist for each other. Sometimes music can captivate your emotions better than you can say. Make a playlist of love songs for your special someone and enjoy them together over a bottle or two of good wine.

Nontraditional Valentine’s Day Date Ideas For Singles:

Throw a ‘Singles Party’. Call up your other single friends and celebrate your singleness and the love you have for YOU. There is no reason to throw a ‘FVDay’ party because all hope is not lost. Love will find you!

Take a day trip. Get out on the town–a different town! You don’t have to go too far, but try out another bar or restaurant that you aren’t familiar with. Who knows, you could meet someone new!

Splurge. You deserve it! If you have the extra money, buy yourself that one thing you always want to get, but never do. Treat yo’ self!

Dress up. Wear your best dress and head out. Doesn’t matter where you go, it’s all in the outfit, girlfriend! Don’t forget to take pictures!

Rekindle an old flame. Take a risk! If you’re not feeling being single on Valentine’s Day catch up with an old love if they’re willing. A second chance might be just what you need.

Cook yourself your favorite meal. Plate it beautifully and enjoy it over a bottle of wine and your favorite show or movie!

Have a photoshoot. When you look good, you feel good. Capture some moments with a well-thought-out photoshoot! You’ll be glad you did!

Spend time with your family. Hang out with your sister. See a movie with your brother. Take your mom out for a spa day. The options are endless. Sometimes we need to celebrate the love we have for others, too!

Have sex. With yourself or your FWB. You deserve a good night, girl. No emotions involved.

Have a sleepover. Nostalgic and necessary!

What are some other ideas you guys have for Valentine’s Day? SHARE them in a COMMENT below!

February 11, 2019 0 comment
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Texting

I’ll admit, I’m the worst at texting. Period.

My mom, my friends, a love interest–my level of suckiness is all the same. There is reason for it though. Not every woman has the same reason as to why she isn’t texting you first, but I feel like I’ve had enough experience with it to pinpoint a few common reasons she never texts you first. Let’s get into!

She never texts you first because she’s not much of a texter.

“Dis me.” Like seriously, I am not a lover of text messaging. I do enough typewriting in a day to last me a lifetime. I would much rather a phone call than a text. Even if it’s just a quick phone call I would appreciate it a million times more than two word, constant messaging. It’s distracting for me. It completely throws me off balance. I forget about texts and then I end up looking like an asshole because I never reply or worse I reply a couple days later. What can I say? Texting just isn’t in my love ‘language’.

She never texts you first because she’s (really) busy.

It’s not you, it’s me. I’m still trying to figure out how to chase my dreams full time, balance my emotions, raise my daughter, and maintain the other priorities in my life. It just isn’t easy for me to stop everything I’m doing to send you a text. As I’m writing this out, I realize that I may sound like a bit of an asshole, but it’s the honest truth from my end.

She never texts you first because she’s used to you texting her first.

So, I mentioned being busy. There are some men who have been interested in me who respect and understand that, so they never complain about texting me first. In fact, they usually say something along the lines of “I know you’re busy, but I just wanted to let you know you’re on my mind.” It’s sweet, it’s not overbearing, and it excuses the fact that I may not have had a chance to text him before he found an opportunity to text me. Be the bigger person.

She never texts you first because she doesn’t want to bother you.

Again, with being a busy person, you gain respect for people’s daily schedule and priorities. She may not text you first thing in the morning or during the busy hours of the day because she doesn’t want to bother you. She wants to give you time to handle your business. There is no love lost in a late text as long as it comes with genuine, fruitful conversation and a sweet compliment. Don’t forget that.

She never texts you first because you don’t offer good conversation.

Contrary to what I previously stated, she may not text you first because you never have anything to talk about! So annoying. Even though you text her first your texts are always the same–dry as hell. This is something you can fix, but first impressions are lasting. If you find that she texts you five words or less each text and you only hear from her when you text her… she’s probably over it, bruh. Move on.

She never texts you first because she feels like she’s wasting her time.

Another thing that may hinder a woman from texting you first is if she feels like she’s wasting her time. This could stem from a number of different conclusions–a few, for example, are if she thinks she is wasting her time because she doesn’t think you’re genuinely interested in her. She could also feel like she’s being hidden and doesn’t want to stir up any trouble on your end, giving you the green light to text her when it’s “safe.” Yes, it happens. Yes, some woman are that considerate.

She never texts you first because she’s not interested.

At the end of the day, we make time for the things and people we want in our life. If you’ve made it clear to her that it bothers you that she never texts you first and she doesn’t change that… she’s not interested. There’s really no other way to put it. It’s difficult when you have other things going on, but when the person you’re interested in shares with you that they’ve got a problem with something you’re doing (or not doing), you try to fix it. If no effort has been made to change the issue, she doesn’t care to be a part of the solution at all.

Nonetheless, fellas, be fair and address the issue before you assume her reason for not texting you first. If you let her know that you notice it, she’s likely to give you a reason behind why that is. Trust her. If you don’t, move on. Remember, there’s nothing without trust. There are plenty of fish in the sea because ain’t nobody got time for no half-assed love!

February 1, 2019 0 comment
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Woman’s Heart

Dear men,

It’s been too long! There are a bunch of previous articles I think you’d get a lot out of, I just didn’t focus them specifically on you fellas. Today though, I want to share with you something HUGE. The secret to every woman’s heart. As complex and/or annoying as us woman can seem, we’re really very simple. All of our lives, we are told that that the way to your heart is through your stomach… is that true?

Either way, I promise you that once you finish this article us women will make a lot more sense to you then we probably ever have… so, let’s get into it!

First, I want you to think of the things all women have in common. Yes, all women. That means it can’t be fashion, it can’t be hairstyles, it can’t even be the attraction of men… It’s not so easy, is it? So, I’ll tell you.

AMBITION.

I don’t know a single woman in the world who doesn’t want something for herself. It may not be the ideal job or the ideal lifestyle, but still she has a goal and her eye is on that prize. So what’s the secret?

The secret to every woman’s heart is to support her.

There is nothing more attractive about a man than his willingness to support not just women, but anyone. If you think about it, the kind of men woman usually voice as their ‘dream guy’ is one who is a business owner, role model, or some type of leader. It’s because we enjoy a man who is strong enough to lead, passionate enough to help, and bold enough to show it.

As common as it may seem, it is not an everyday situation that we find a man who supports our thoughts, ideas, and visions. I guess I should have mentioned earlier that I’m not really talking about the secret to getting the woman, but more so showing you how to stand out and gain a place in her life that really won’t fade. We won’t turn our backs on someone who supports us. We need it. We are far more likely to foster the friendship or relationship because we need support. Especially from a strong man.

Ask that woman what her plans for life are. Ask that woman what her goals are. Ask her what steps she has already taken to get there. Ask that woman what else she needs to do and if she needs help getting there. After that, KEEP UP WITH HER ABOUT THOSE THINGS. Praise her for accomplishments, but get on her case a little bit when she’s losing her drive. These are the foolproof strategies. Naturally, she’ll share those thoughts with you and she’ll more than likely continue to share those thoughts with you because she will grow fond of your care and interest in her goals and plans. That speaks volumes.

You want to blow a woman’s mind. Support her brand. Support her business. Support her being.

It’s our little secret.

January 21, 2019 0 comment
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Romance

This was the first time I acknowledged the difference between sex, love, and romance…

I use the word acknowledge because clearly, we understand that there is a difference, but we never like to point out the one without the other. I’m familiar with sex, acquainted with love, and a virgin to romance–until I met Mr. R. Here’s the story of my first dance with Romance.

I’m at a Harlem Nightclub (looking great, feeling better) standing in line for the ladies’ room and I’m ¬getting the normal aggressive stare-down, brush of the hand, corny pick-ups a woman normally encounters after the midnight hour and one too many drinks. I leave the powder room and as I’m walking back to where my friends have congregated, a very finely dressed, mature man approaches me and tells me how much he admires my beauty. I kindly thank him, but keep on in my travels. I try to take this debonair man’s compliment the same way I would any other guy’s, but for some reason the sincerity in his voice and eyes let me do nothing of the sort. I make it back to the bar only to find the same gentleman is standing right near my friends. He approaches me again and asks if I’d like something to drink. “I’ll have what you’re having,” I reply. Even though my friends were ready to leave, there was something about him I just couldn’t walk away from. We get as acquainted as our drinks and the loud music will allow and as the night ends he invites me to lunch the next day. I couldn’t wait.

I wake up the next day feeling yesterday’s party, but still anticipating whether or not he’d keep his promise. Time passed and time passed then finally I got a text requesting my presence that evening and I won’t lie–I was elated. I jumped up and quickly got my life together and headed into the city to meet my new friend. Seeing as how I was new to the city and the subway system, I arrived about an hour and a half after he had requested (and his friends had already left as well), but still I found him waiting just as kind and patient as ever. When I saw him again and he kissed both of my cheeks to greet me, I couldn’t wait to know more about him. Hand in hand, we walked the streets of Harlem chatting and looking for a restaurant that was a choice as I knew his taste would be. We came upon a quaint place with an intimate, candlelit ambiance and as we walked in (of course, the first thing I’m thinking to myself is, “This looks really expensive…”), but it was of no matter to him. He gave me a smile and with the most sincerity said, “You may have whatever you’d like.” I was at a loss for words. I had never been treated with such enchantment in all my life.

As we enjoyed our meal and conversed over a bottle of wine, I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear from his romanticism and charm. He was like the real-life version of that book character, Christian Grey, without all the crazy dominant stuff. His words were so eloquent and his spirit so free and kind; it made me only hope to live as happily as he when I reach his age. After dinner, our night continued at a few other spots in Harlem and the whole time we were out we kept getting these stares from people like, “How’d the hell did you two meet?” but neither of us had a care in the world for what others thought. It was like there was no one there but the two of us in every place we had went. What’s better is that even the people serving us handled us with such care and respect. I’m telling you… just the way he carries himself leaves you wanting to experience more of him. No exaggeration.

I could go on and on about his character and how many great experiences I’ve already had with him, but the significance of sharing this story is this… To us ladies, treat yourself like the queen you know you are because that someone who is worthy of your companionship won’t let you get away when you finally grace their presence. Don’t look for your ‘Mr. Right’ because it’s not for you to know who is supposed to sweep you off of your feet. Just take care of you. Be genuine. “Pour coconut oil on your spirit” if you will. To you men, although Mr. R was in the position to treat me to a bunch of fancy experiences, that wasn’t what made the experience for me. It was his charm, his charisma, his ability to steal away all the attention in a room of practically any size. He was genuine and confident, not cocky and egotistical. You take care of you, too. That way while us women are coconut oiling our soul, you’ll be preparing yourself to show us the romance we forgot we deserved. We often get caught up in thinking that the equation for a perfect relationship is a combination of friendship, commitment, and sex, but we keep failing to acknowledge that we deserve (and should expect) to be romanced before most of that. Not in a million years did I think I’d be Mr. R’s type, but I believe the more we saw of each other the more we realized how lucky we were to have met each other. We learned so much. Bottom line? When you do finally have that dance with Romance, don’t listen to anything but her song and dance for as long as you possibly can. If the music just so happens to stop… at least you got to hear her sing.

——

To Mr. R,

Thank you for treating me like the Queen I am. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for believing in my confidence. And most importantly, thank you for this dance.

January 11, 2019 0 comment
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Proposal

Someone recently asked me how I knew my husband was the one and how I knew I would say yes when he proposed?

I smiled as I reflected on the answer to these questions for a number of reasons, but the main reason was because it immediately reminded me of what I love about my husband and why I did in fact marry him. The answers to those two questions will vary from person to person, but here are the reasons I married my husband.

I knew I would say yes when my husband asked me to be his wife because he brought out the best in me (which was the extreme opposite of my previous long-term relationship). He truly motivated me to make changes for myself, not for him or anyone else. He didn’t tell me exactly what to change or how to change, but being around him made me want to be better. With his encouragement, I finished my bachelor’s degree (because I almost quit). He provided me with the environment to finish my degree without working. I thought if he will do this for his girlfriend, what more will he do for his wife!

I married my husband because as cliché as it may sound, he is my best friend. Over the course of the 2 years that we knew each other prior to getting married we talked, spent time together, disagreed, supported each other through difficult decisions, and told each other the truth. Much like you would do with your best friend. We enjoyed the same activities, such as band, music, movies, traveling, and spending time with friends and family. We valued the same things such as marriage, spirituality, education, children, family, and agreed, for the most part, agreed about what those things look like. Disagreements, you ask? The ones we had were not deal breakers and I wasn’t looking to change those things about my husband because you know, you don’t really try to change your best friends. You love them differences and all.

This man loved me! I mean genuinely loved me. He did not try to change me in any way. Well, he did ask me to cook a little more, and though at the time I was not feeling it, I have come to enjoy cooking for my family and friends. My husband loved me as imperfect as I am. He accepted my family and friends as his own, even creating individual relationships with the people I love most. To know them is to know me. He genuinely put forth an effort to love me and create a space full of joy, positivity, love, and forgiveness.

I could elaborate for hours on why I married my husband, but honestly, to sum it up–he loved me like God loves me: Always loving me. Always protecting me.  Always forgiving me. He truly was a Godsend!

December 31, 2018 0 comment
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Relationship

Dating is risky, but sometimes you get lucky and stumble upon a great woman or man. I’m not saying that its guaranteed that things will last forever, but if you see some of these signs within your relationship now, then I think it’s safe to say that your relationship is on the right track! Let’s get into it!

You’re paying attention to the small things that matter to one another.

It’s the small things–the simple things that really show how much someone means to you.

You’re patient with one another.

Love takes patience. It takes the willingness to know that things are going to take time to be where you need it to be.

You willingly and openly communicate with one another about everything.

You’re not asking how each other’s day has been because ‘it’s the right thing to do’, you’re asking because you genuinely care how their day has been. You talk to each other like you’re best friends. That’s love.

You don’t like saying no to one another, but you will if necessary.

You’re spoiled and you know it. Both of you hate having to tell the other ‘no’ because you only want to see each other happy–although, if necessary, you can say no when the time calls for it.

You’re willing to make sacrifices for one another.

If you’re not willing to make sacrifices for the person you’re in a relationship with… get. out. NOW.

You’re making a conscious effort to improve yourself for them (in any area).

They just make you want to be a better person. Even if it’s something as small as not cursing any more, they make you want to improve yourself.

Sexual activity is deep and emotional.

It’s never just sex with you two. You make love. To be honest, sex is not about your pleasure, but more about theirs.

You don’t seek outside attention.

The need for social media and the popularity that comes with it slowly, but surely goes away. You’ll even find that talking and texting other people on the phone is less desirable. The only person’s attention you need and want is your partners.

You don’t mind going out of your way to make one another happy.

You’ll do whatever it takes to make sure your partner is happy. In fact, it doesn’t even seem like you’re going above and beyond to you, but other people might bring that to your attention. Again, you just want to do what you can to make and keep them happy.

You respect one another with or without being in each other’s presence.

Whether they’re standing right next to you or in Timbuktu–respect is not an option. You don’t disrespect your partner or relationship and you don’t allow anyone else to disrespect your partner or relationship–point blank, period.

You talk about each other to your close friends and family.

They’re special to you. They bring out the best in you. These things make you want to tell your close friends and family about the person responsible for your new glow lately.

You’ve met each other’s close family and friends.

Not only do you talk about them with your close family and friends, but you make it a point to have them meet one another. I think meeting the family is very underplayed with Millennials. Meeting the family is a really big deal!

You show and tell one another how much you mean to each other.

No matter how you choose to show each other or what words you choose to express it, you both make it a priority to display that love and affection as often as possible. Saying ‘I love you’ is easy, normal, and frequent for the two of you.

Talking about the future isn’t off-limits.

If you can’t talk about the future with your partner, chances are there isn’t one in sight for one of you. It’s important to know that your partner is comfortable thinking about the possibility of your future with them.

You’re planning for a future together.

You don’t just talk about a future together, but you’re making progress towards making it a reality. You’re planning to save, thinking about where you two want to start a family–you’re making a plan to spend your future together.

December 21, 2018 0 comment
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call

Dear men,

I understand that nowadays texting has become a very regular, convenient way to communicate with others–especially someone you just met–but it really is not the best way to approach meeting someone new. I don’t know about the women you have encountered in the past, but a woman like me is no fan of the frequent texter. Here are 7 reasons to call vs. text that special lady you’re interested in. Let’s get into it!

It shows you’re confident.

This is the main attraction for me. I am not one to give my number to someone I do not want or expect to use it. Knowing that people are more comfortable texting, it’s always refreshing to be startled by a phone call from that person when I expected a ‘how are you beautiful’ text. It’s sexy. It’s confident. It’s unexpected. It’s sexy.

It makes for more fruitful conversations.

There’s only so much conversation you can have through text. You can’t emit emotions through text (no matter how much you think you can). When you make the phone call, you’re allowing the two of you to actually talk and converse with each other. The more you talk, the more likely you’ll make each other laugh and/or tell each other interesting things about one another. Conversation really is not hard to have when you are mature and it’s completely necessary if you plan on getting to know someone.

It shows your putting effort into getting to know her.

Women miss the old days when staying on the phone all night was okay. Don’t let us fool you. Although our schedules don’t allow us to stay on the phone all night the desire for phone conversation is still there. When you make the phone call, it’s saying to us that you’ve taken the time out of your day to stop what you’re doing and make us the priority for right then. It shows effort and contrary to popular belief, that’s usually all we’re looking for in the beginning stages of getting to know a man.

It makes you more memorable.

Let’s be honest, fellas. You’re not the only person texting her at the time. New phone, who is this?  Sound familiar? It means, ‘I have no idea who you are or how I met you’ and nobody wants to be on the receiving end of that message. When you make the phone call you’re likely to be a lot more memorable than the guys who are hiding behind text messages. Call her and make her day. She won’t forget you.

You’ll get to know her better.

I know the main reason many men say they don’t like to talk on the phone is because they don’t have much to say, but if you knew better you’d know that women love to talk. All you have to do is listen and answer an occasional question or two when she asks. It’s really not as hard as you make it seem. You’ll get to learn her a lot better over the phone than you will through text. You can hear her laugh. You’ll get a better idea of her sense of humor. It’s also likely that you learn that you actually like being on the phone with her. It’s just better.

Things are likely to progress well between the two of you.

I’d assume that if you’re making the phone call you understand that she is likely to perceive that as efforts of getting to know her better. The more you two talk and get to know each other, the more likely a friendship will develop and if desired from both of you, even more can and is likely to develop.

We’ll assume there’s a [bad] reason you never call.

I understand that you can’t always call, but if you never call–huge problem. I promise you if we haven’t already stopped texting you back because we realize it’s completely pointless (and that you may be a complete creep) … we’ve come up with several things that are wrong with you that stop are stopping you from calling. We may assume you really have a girlfriend, you sound like a woman, you aren’t mature enough to hold a conversation–we’ll convince ourselves of something, trust me. It’s downright creepy for you to never call. Nothing good can come of that.

Now remember fellas, I can’t speak for all women and I’m not saying I know everything… but if she’s anything like me then the above is at least somewhat true for her. If you meet a woman who isn’t fond of being on the phone, I wouldn’t say that’s the best situation to put yourself in. Humans are supposed to talk and interact with one another. It will make dates less awkward and stop you from wasting so much time with women who you aren’t going to develop anything with. We know you can’t call all day every day, but daily really isn’t too much to ask. It’s really not so bad. Give it a try.

As always, it’s out little secret.

December 10, 2018 0 comment
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