By Isis Nezbeth
Isis is a first-time mother, author, and free-spirited freelancer.
She’s addicting, isn’t she?
She’s passionate, bold, and sexy AF. There’s almost a thrill in just chasing her alone, but you’d probably be lying if you said that was all you wanted from her. There’s nothing wrong with meeting a woman who blows you away–and you shouldn’t be afraid to take the risk of trying to genuinely get to know her. Before we get started, I still feel the need to offer a disclaimer that this is not an article to promise you’ll win the woman, but I am doing my best to help you get in there. I won’t lie to you, it won’t be easy–but this kind of woman is usually 100% worth it. This is how to attract the free-spirited woman you’re crushing on. Let’s get into it!
- Be original with your “A-Game.” One thing I’ve come to learn over time is that several men believe their “A-game” is on point. I gotta be honest with you though, most of you are not quite there. Times are changing and so are women’s standards. I’m not saying that I agree with how far certain women are asking men to go to “prove themselves,” but still, women can be quite demanding–even in the ‘getting to know you’ stages. So, when you come with your A-game try to revamp what you usually do. The free-spirited woman has been over the usual thing men do to get her attention. I can’t tell you exactly what that is, but I can tell you that your approach should be very, very different.
- Speak meaningfully and with purpose. When you do finally get her attention, please for the love of God, don’t put your foot in your mouth. Don’t use pet names. Don’t ask her ‘wyd’. Speak meaningfully and with purpose. The free-spirited woman is strong and her attention span is short. She is always looking for the next thing that will literally ignite her soul. This could be you. I’m not telling you to begin quoting Shakespeare, but dig deep for something really good to say to her. Remember, attention-getting is always the first thing you start with in any successful presentation.
- Accept her fully. I can’t stand to find out that someone pursued a free-spirited woman only to hold things of her past against her. If I can be honest, I can’t stand when anyone has their past held against them. I mean, who are you? Jesus? –Didn’t think so. If you’re going to go after the free-spirited woman, it’s important to remember that she is exactly that. Free. That means there is a very high chance that she’s taken some risks in life and has also made some bad decisions. Then again, who hasn’t? Still, because she is so free-spirited she didn’t allow it to hold her back or scare her into being someone else. I promise you it’ll pay off way more to remember this than to remember something she did before she even knew you existed.
- Don’t be infatuated with her–actually get to know her. If you’re going to attract the free-spirited woman, do your absolute best to genuinely get to know her. Do not think of her as the woman you’ve seen in passing or the woman you see online. You’ve got to start fresh. Learn the real her. Chances are that those women (online and IRL) are indeed the same, but the free-spirited woman can feel when you’re just attracted to the idea of her and not who she actually is. It literally shows in just about everything you do.
- Indulge in her dreams. One of the number one ways to attract the free-spirited woman is to indulge yourself in her dreams and fantasies. This kind of woman always has a racing mind. She’s always thinking up ideas or daydreaming on her passions. As I mentioned before, she is constantly in search of the things that truly set her soul on fire. If you can, learn about them. Talk with her about them. Fuel her so that you, too, can be something that sets her soul on fire.
- Motivate her and if possible inspire her. Although many believe the two words are interchangeable, I believe they are different. You can motivate her to follow her dreams and pursue the things she’s passionate about by encouraging her and supporting her. This is extremely important and in my opinion, it’s crucial to attracting the free-spirited woman. You should also find ways to inspire her though. When you’re listening to her talk about her passions and learning more about her dreams, you should be able to find things to inspire her if you aren’t one of those things yourself. It’s as simple as seeing a painting and sending her a text saying, “I bet you could create something as powerful as this if not better.” It’s sexy, it’s a challenge, and she’ll be elated that you believe in her vision.
- Take her on an unforgettable date. No, it’s not the end-all-be-all if you’ve already missed the mark with this one, but remember she’s free-spirited. She’s creative and original. Try to take her on a date that doesn’t let the other dates she’s been on even stand a chance in her memory of “bests.” It might seem a bit intimidating at first, but I promise you, if you are crushing on her the way I think you are and your intentions are actually good… you’ll think up the perfect date.
- Be present, but give her space. Again, when you’ve got the conversation going or you two have been on a few dates, stay relevant. Stay present. Talk to her often–but remember to give her space. The free-spirited woman, contrary to popular belief, can be tied down–she just needs room to fly when she needs to. Don’t be too overprotective or you’ll be sure to lose her. Don’t disregard the fact that she needs you around as well though. She will want to fly, but she’ll come back to the nest that makes her feel at home–loved and protected.
- Don’t run at the first sign of her dominance. The free-spirited woman isn’t about bullshit–but you know this already. Don’t run at her first sign of dominance. There is likely going to be something that occurs between the two of you that causes her to get a little attitude or to “define” a situation. Don’t revolt. Try to understand where she is coming from. I’m sure there is some reason behind why she felt the need to raise her stinger a bit. Some understanding and communication are sure to settle her right on back down. I promise.
Don’t give up on her.