By Isis Nezbeth
Isis is a first-time mother, author, and free-spirited freelancer.
I’ll admit, I’m the worst at texting. Period.
My mom, my friends, a love interest–my level of suckiness is all the same. There is reason for it though. Not every woman has the same reason as to why she isn’t texting you first, but I feel like I’ve had enough experience with it to pinpoint a few common reasons she never texts you first. Let’s get into!
She never texts you first because she’s not much of a texter.
“Dis me.” Like seriously, I am not a lover of text messaging. I do enough typewriting in a day to last me a lifetime. I would much rather a phone call than a text. Even if it’s just a quick phone call I would appreciate it a million times more than two word, constant messaging. It’s distracting for me. It completely throws me off balance. I forget about texts and then I end up looking like an asshole because I never reply or worse I reply a couple days later. What can I say? Texting just isn’t in my love ‘language’.
She never texts you first because she’s (really) busy.
It’s not you, it’s me. I’m still trying to figure out how to chase my dreams full time, balance my emotions, raise my daughter, and maintain the other priorities in my life. It just isn’t easy for me to stop everything I’m doing to send you a text. As I’m writing this out, I realize that I may sound like a bit of an asshole, but it’s the honest truth from my end.
She never texts you first because she’s used to you texting her first.
So, I mentioned being busy. There are some men who have been interested in me who respect and understand that, so they never complain about texting me first. In fact, they usually say something along the lines of “I know you’re busy, but I just wanted to let you know you’re on my mind.” It’s sweet, it’s not overbearing, and it excuses the fact that I may not have had a chance to text him before he found an opportunity to text me. Be the bigger person.
She never texts you first because she doesn’t want to bother you.
Again, with being a busy person, you gain respect for people’s daily schedule and priorities. She may not text you first thing in the morning or during the busy hours of the day because she doesn’t want to bother you. She wants to give you time to handle your business. There is no love lost in a late text as long as it comes with genuine, fruitful conversation and a sweet compliment. Don’t forget that.
She never texts you first because you don’t offer good conversation.
Contrary to what I previously stated, she may not text you first because you never have anything to talk about! So annoying. Even though you text her first your texts are always the same–dry as hell. This is something you can fix, but first impressions are lasting. If you find that she texts you five words or less each text and you only hear from her when you text her… she’s probably over it, bruh. Move on.
She never texts you first because she feels like she’s wasting her time.
Another thing that may hinder a woman from texting you first is if she feels like she’s wasting her time. This could stem from a number of different conclusions–a few, for example, are if she thinks she is wasting her time because she doesn’t think you’re genuinely interested in her. She could also feel like she’s being hidden and doesn’t want to stir up any trouble on your end, giving you the green light to text her when it’s “safe.” Yes, it happens. Yes, some woman are that considerate.
She never texts you first because she’s not interested.
At the end of the day, we make time for the things and people we want in our life. If you’ve made it clear to her that it bothers you that she never texts you first and she doesn’t change that… she’s not interested. There’s really no other way to put it. It’s difficult when you have other things going on, but when the person you’re interested in shares with you that they’ve got a problem with something you’re doing (or not doing), you try to fix it. If no effort has been made to change the issue, she doesn’t care to be a part of the solution at all.
Nonetheless, fellas, be fair and address the issue before you assume her reason for not texting you first. If you let her know that you notice it, she’s likely to give you a reason behind why that is. Trust her. If you don’t, move on. Remember, there’s nothing without trust. There are plenty of fish in the sea because ain’t nobody got time for no half-assed love!